There are some words I hate. OK, maybe hate is a bit strong. maybe irritated by is a better way to put it. I have a bad attitude about a lot of things but I was thinking last night about words that describe "overweight". Blah, I hate them all. They all sound so.....Fat and u-g-l-y.
Some examples....
Chunky. Yeah, chunky just sounds really blocky and big and clumsy. Or like peanut butter or poop. I think "chunky" is definitely better fitting for a boy.
Chubby. Chubby is the more rolly-polly version of chunky, perhaps the more feminine version of the chunkster. Chubby is a little less offensive because it has a bit more of a baby connotation, right. Chubby can be cute, if used appropriately. I mean, it has no place on date night with your husband after you've given birth to two babies and you never had a stellar baby to begin with.
Pudgy. Pudgy is a gross one. Pudgy might even smell like ass. So, not only are you a bit f-a-t but now you probably stink as well. Not a good combo. Pudgy could me a masculine description, too....Huh...maybe not. I don't know if Pudgy has a 'gina or a peen. Pudgy probably wears lots of neutral colors and sensible shoes. The female pudgy wears mom jeans and a fanny pack. The male version pulls his dockers up waaaaay too far and has Velcro shoes or sandals with socks. <----NEVER a good thing.
Voluptuous . I'm on the fence with voluptuous because it has such a sexy, hot-mama reputation. Buuuuut, there are some gals out there using it who are about 70 lbs past voluptuous, let's just be honest here. Jessica Rabbit is voluptuous. Roseanne Barr pre-surgery, is NOT. However, voluptuous knows how to wear great shoes, has cute hair and probably has a hot boyfriend. And she more than likely loves herself.
Full-Figured. *sigh* As opposed to what? Half-figured? Almost full? I picture some 6ft tall, 200lb powerful woman when I think of full figured. I also think it might be a more feminist friendly way of saying f-a-t. I could be wrong. Like, "I am fucking FULL FIGURED, motherfucker, whatcha gunna DO about it? I will STOMP on you with my size 12 feet and whap you in the face with my Playtex 18 hour bra, bitches!"
Plus sized. Oh you poor thing, plus sized, you really try to help a gal out but you still sound a little shameful. Like when you walk into a Macy's (gag) and your eyes search out the "PLUS SIZED" section only to find the two racks full of lunch lady type clothes. Oh yeah, it's great, elastic waists, polyester pants in eggplant. <---HOT. Cardigan sweaters with appliqued apples or school buses or the current holiday. Full-sized is a fashion failure. Sorry, it just is.
Disclaimer: I have at one time or another been all of these. I'm not being a hater, I'm speaking from experience.
3 comments:
I usually just go ahead and say fat. I agree that it's an ugly word. I like chubby and chunky. They seem less harsh and kind of cute. Chunky monkey. :-)
LOL - awesome!
I am DYING that pudgy might smell like ass.
I think it is really difficult to find a descriptive word for overweight that is not offensive, given that being overweight is a negative to begin with in our culture.
Pudgy does smell like ass. And probably has a stain on his shirt. Pudgy is not a neat person.
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